When a friend stops talking to you…

by Nim Gholkar

Yes, friends CAN outgrow you…

It’s sad and it shouldn’t happen, but it can happen and does happen. Have you ever tried calling a friend who never returns your calls? Who seems to have gone quiet? Who doesn’t seem interested in you or your friendship anymore?

Before you drive yourself crazy wondering what you’ve done wrong, I want you to remember that friends can outgrow each other. A perfectly good friendship can quietly dissolve without much warning. There could be all kinds of reasons.

As we grow and evolve, our values and priorities change. When our values are misaligned with the values of of our friends, we can start feeling a sense of disconnect. Remember the saying: “People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime”. If their reason or season has been served, they may quietly disappear – even if it’s a long-standing friendship of many years.

By all means try to save the relationship by attempting to clear the air. But despite your efforts if the friend seems reluctant to continue, remind yourself that their reason for coming into your life may have been fulfilled. You may never find out what that reason was….But that’s life. Everything cannot always be neatly explained and packed away.

Whatever you do, don’t spend endless days blaming yourself. If you feel you’ve hurt your friend in some way, apologise. Many times, even though you try to find out what’s wrong, the friend won’t give any hints.

If that’s the case, it’s time to move on.

As they say: ‘Don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened.’

Cherish the memories…Let go of the pain.

Nim Gholkar, 2021

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